Tuesday, May 24, 2011

The Story of Faith



Many times we believe in our eyes than our heart. We believe in the words of two eyes not in the single heart. We believe the eyes that shows life and we don’t believe the heart that gives us life. So this is the story of a wife who was unable to make decision on whom to believe-in her eyes or in her heart. But finally she trusted her heart to judge the heart of a person whom she had once given her heart. Was her decision right or wrong? What consequences she had to face for her decision? Did her decision made her life hell or heaven? Let me tell you a small story-the story of a woman, the story of a wife, the story of faith.
There was a girl named Sasmita, from a poor family with two brothers and two sisters. Sasmita was the eldest daughter of her family. The unfortunate girl could not get enough love from her father who was heavenly abode when she was only seven years old. Her mother was then the one source of giving love and earning income in the family. Her mother could manage to work to earn income  but that was spend from hand to mouth. Since she was elder child and her mother goes to work, she had to leave her studies from the childhood days to carry out the daily household activities and to take care of her younger siblings. This way her childhood passed.
With the passage of time, she turned from a girl to woman. But she did not know much  how to take care of her beauty like other girls do. So her dark complexion and dark hairs could not caught heart of any man. Therefore she remained upset and sad. In every evening when she looked at the beautiful moon from the broken window of her hut, her broken heart wished for her love. 
The specialty of Sasmita is her inner beauty. She never showed her pain to the outside world. Rather, whomsoever she meets,  she spread love and affection like her own family. She dances and rejoices in very wedding , birthdays or any other ceremony as if she is the happiest person in the world. The more interesting thing is that, she never wished to become a fair beautiful lady. She loved herself - the way she is. All her kith and keen, all her friends and relatives loved her for her cheerful and joyful behaviour.
One day Sasmita went to market to purchase vegetables. Suddenly she found a crowd in the middle of the road. She asked some fellow buyers and what happened. When no one was able to tell what happened, she went near the crowd to see what had exactly happened. She found an old lady lying on the road. It may be because of sun stroke that happened due to heavy hot temperature. But no one was helping her out. She went to the vegetable shop again and asked for some water and then sprinkled some water on the wrinkled face old woman. She asked for help to some other persons there. Two boys out of sudden came and helped her and brought a rickshaw. She sat on the rickshaw and took the old lady and hold her tightly.  She left the old lady at her home.
Many days passed. One day when Sasmita opened the door in the morning to clean the veranda, she found a paper near the sill. She was about to throw it but suddenly she realised why everyday she is finding same type of paper near her door. Every day she used to throw it with the broom thinking it unused paper. She came to knew that it was a letter-a love letter. She could not understand what to do or not to do.  Still she opened it and found that it was for her. She could not believed her eyes. She was little nervous and surprised. She knew little bit to read as she had gone for studies to a government high school up to class four.  So she opened the letter and read  it. The letter goes like this-
Dear Sasmita,
I know you must be surprised by this letter. You must be thinking who I am. You do not know me. But I know you well. I know you from the day you helped the unknown old lady. I don’t know whether you have remembered or not but I am one of the guys who helped you to bring rickshaw. Actually me and my friend Rakesh  were both going to our home and found the crowd. Being a solider we are always ready in the job of helping others. Being anxious what happened when we reached there you were asking for help. That time I thought that old lady must be your mother but found that old lady is no way related to you and except with the relation of humanity. I don’t know why some special feeling created for you from that day. When I discussed about you with my friend Rakesh, then found that he knew your family. Then from him I could know about you and your family. Every day I used to give same letter but you throw it. Even today  i kept the letter for you. I will again keep it every day till you read it. And one thing I want to say is that I love you and want to marry you.
With Love
Sumant
After reading the letter, Sasmita looked here and there around her home, to know who  is the person who have send the letter. She could not find anyone. She smiled and took the letter  with her and read many times till the next morning. Next morning she found a stranger standing little far from her home staring at her. He was a tall fair good looking young man. Since it was early morning she could not find any other person. She did not find her man so she was disappointed. She went with pot to bring water from well little far from her home. When she came back she found the same person standing at same place. Thinking it little suspicious Sasmita asked why he is starring at her home. The man did not spoke anything and went away.
Sasmita said her mother about the letter. Her mother said to Sasmita to forget about it as someone might have played plank with her or someone has played mischief. She thought her mother must be right. She thought who will marry such dusky girl. Every day she wake up to broom the veranda but before that she would sit on the sill of the door and read the letter and smile and get back to work. Nearly around seven days, again she would find same person starring at her home. She was frightful but now hiding her fear and she showing false anger asked her why starring for last few days to her home. If he again does so again she will complain. The boy gave same smile and replied that he was not starring at her home. He was starring at her one who had stolen his heart. The boy said to Sasmita, why she doesn’t recognize him but he was the same guy in the market and same guy who gave the letter to her. He said to Sasmita that , she had smiled reading the letter but she is getting angry on the person who gave her letter. He said her that he loved the way she smiled at reading his letter. So even if he came here every day he did not speak to Sasmita so that he could see that same smile again and again. He asked can she allow her to bring same smile to her till his last breathe. Listening this, she could not utter a single word and remained silent. She spoke him the silent words without uttering a single word “I love you too”.
One day the guy Sumant, went Sasmita's family and asked her mother that he wants to marry her daughter. Being a poor mother and finding the guy loves her daughter she agreed to get them knotted. Then Sumant went to his family but his family could not accept her because she was not so beautiful compared to their son. But finally when he said he won’t marry anyone they agreed. Then both of them married. They were so happy with each other. He would take care of her and she would take care of him and his family. Around two year passed. Now her "in laws" liked her because of her good behaviour and good nature.  All were happy.
The days of happiness also increased when Sasmita's  daughter got born. Sumant started loving Sasmita more. He was now more concerned for his family. Sometimes he take leave from work if his daughter gets ill. He used to take care more of his daughter now so that her wife will not have any problem. His wife was so happy but sometimes something put her in confusion. She had found her husband spending lot of money somewhere for which they are facing financial crisis in home. Many times he came late to home. All these started troubling her when she found him with same lady every time and people started talking about it. But still she ignored it when she saw the love and care for her.
One day she found his husband was not there at home. It has never happened when he would go so early in the morning without informing her. She thought that some urgent work must have come and he would have gone. She cooked food for lunch and waited till evening but he did not came and then she cooked for dinner. But the evening sun went back to his home but his husband had not come. Now it was late 11pm. Then she was worried. Now she said it to her father in law and mother in law. They got worried too. They started making enquiry to Sumant's friends and relatives. But no positive reply came from anyone. Only with hope that he will come next morning, all waited for the sun rise. That night sleep came to nobody’s eyes.
Next morning she was sitting in the same way on sill of door waiting for him like she waited for him before marriage. This time her eyes are anxious but lips are not smiling as she could not found her love. Then she said her mother about the incident. But what her widow old mother will do. One of her cousin brother and other relatives searched her husband but they could not found him. Some went to tantric and asked when he may come and as per the tantric they waited for the particular day. But he did not came on that date. Then she said about the girl with whom her husband usually meets. Then all got surprised and could not believe it as they also all like his husband. Her husband was a good nature man with love and caring for all. Still they enquired and found that that girl is also missing. Now they all thought that he must have surely run away with her.
This news made her mad. She cried and cried as if her life has flown away with her tears. Neither could she believe her eyes nor the heart. Sometimes she listen her heart thinking all these are rumours as he loved her and her daughter so much he cannot leave her like that. Sometimes she believe her eyes the acts of her husband which she ignored thinking that girl might be someone from his work place or friend. Sometimes she listen he heart that to have patience until he returns back. Sometimes she believed eyes and felt to scold him as much as she can. Sometimes her heart consoles her saying that her love cannot be dishonest as he has from his side chosen her as life partner. Sometimes her eyes make fun of her dark face for which his husband went for another beauty.
She has spent many nights waiting for him like she has waited for millions of births in those few days. Her every moment was spend by different questions from her mind, from family from society. Her every thoughts were puzzled as if she will be killed by her countless thoughts. Her eyes looked at the roads as if asking the road to bring her husband back. Sometimes she thought of fighting sometimes she thought of caringly make him understand. She would cry, angry, sad. Sometimes she felt like committing suicide sometimes she felt like waiting for her love. She even did not realise what she is saying or doing. Her daughter fell ill because she could not take proper care of her due to Seeing her in such pitiable condition, all now thought to make a police enquiry to find her husband. But then one phone call came. It was his husband. She became happy. Her sad face was now with little hope. His husband said not to worry as he is fine wherever he is. When they all asked about the other girl he said that all may be thinking wrong about him but later all will understand that he was correct. Listening this she had little hope that her love will come back to her.
Many days ended with the hope of the arrival of her husband. One day his husband called and said her if she loves him then he will not complain about his affair to anyone. But he was denying previously that he had no affair. But now his shameless husband declared clearly that he was in love with someone else and he won’t leave that new girl. He said he will fulfil the requirements of his husband but he won’t leave his girl friend. Now her wife life turned like hell. He said all those things to his brother. His brother was about kill his sister’s husband but was controlling his anger just thinking of his sister. Now she could not tolerate a moment to stay in her husband’s family seeing the disloyalty of her husband. But her family is saying to stay there because now his husband may get scope to go court and ask court for divorce. They may even misuse the law and make her convict for creating ground for divorce. But now she is in a position that she can neither stay in her husband’s family, nor go to her mother’s home, neither can live nor can die. Now she has no faith with anyone-neither her eyes nor her heart. She thought her eyes spoke the truth than the heart. She was annoyed with the world as she thought no one is with her. She fought with herself than the world.
She thought it would have not hurt her much if her husband would have died than being dishonest. When her husband would have died then she would have suffered for few years but now she had to suffer every moment. But she was with love with her husband. She therefore did not complain to police. Whatever may be the reason but every time a women had to suffer-when she does a mistake and when she does not, when she accepts the destiny and when she does not accept the destiny, when she forgives and when she does not.  She is the victim of love she is the victim of destiny. This is called the practical world. Because in books, newspapers, debates she is talked of women empowerment but in reality even if she can do everything but she sacrifices her happiness for all. This is not her fault because she was made with such matter which had made her kind, caring, loving, soft hearted. She had trusted her heart and that heart again puzzled her to make decision.
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*Please post suggestions and comments. Your valuable advices and thoughts can help me to pen better and know my capability so that i can improve my writing skills.
*Acknowledgement: The picture I have taken is a painting by Shilpacharjya Zainul Abedin.

Photography and Poem ...Combo on Cloudy Weather


The dark clouds outside
The silence sounds inside.
Sails the past memories again
Flows the messages from heart lane.






















N.M.LEEPSA
24.05.2011

Friday, May 20, 2011

May you smile forever


May you smile like this for ever
As if the whole world is with you
As if all your wishes are fulfilled
As if you have no more dreams to dream on
As if your happiness wants to come out in your lips
 
May your eyes may look brighter like this forever
As if you saw the heaven on the earth
As if you are reflected in the eyes full of love of your lover
As if you see the world as more beautiful and new
As if your search of life has ended getting your love
 
May you look beautiful for ever
As if your age has stand still watching your innocence
As if your hair taken all the dark shades from the night
As if the glow of your face brighter than the moon
As if you are attractive by adorning patience and honesty
 
May you be blessed with love
As if all your enemies turned your friends
As if strangers pray for you and your happiness
As if all have some heart relationship with you
As if all understands you like their pain
 

N.M.Leepsa
19.05.2011

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Awaited Weather

Breezy air blows the curtains of my window
Showing jolly face of the lonely sky under shadow
Along with the dancing leaves under the thunder
And the smiling trees under the flashing amber
Awaited weather touching my eyes and my heart
Conveying message of staying happy in sad part
N.M.Leepsa
19.05.2011

Friday, May 6, 2011

Three mantras

I have learned something today. If you really want stay in peace and success in priority things in life then learn to say NO. Rather I would say dare to say ‘NO’, in situations where your important things in life are hampered for small things. This would happen only if you learn to hide your weakness and show your strength to world. Once your weak areas are known, people will literally take benefit of it. Saying yes is easy but saying no is difficult. But we need to practice saying NO. It was once told by one of my professor, but that time I did not realized it. But now i realized how important it is to say NO in some situations. Saying yes may solve a problem for particular moment but it may make your life hell after wards. For example in office, If you say no to some situations to your boss, then burden of work may be reduced. I am not saying to say no to important work, but to things which are not priority to particular period of time. Sometimes we miss BEST things of life saying yes for GOOD things. Saying NO is one of the strategies of time management also. It also reduces stress and everything remains transparent. Saying NO may give bad impression but life is not only to live for impressions. As said by one of my friend saying NO is also a management skill. If we don’t practice saying no then people will burden us with tons and tons of work, projects, and assignments. At the end you will get any acknowledgment and miss some valuable opportunities. Again since you have already said yes, you cannot withdraw your words. It will create mental pressure affect your health, your work, your surrounding person and sometimes relationships. Sometimes we say yes thinking what the opposite person may think, may feel bad, may be hurt. It is really possible that it will happen, but at same time we send a strong message that we have some other things to do within particular time limit. We should value time. Once I heard from my senior colleague that she was unable to complete her PhD work as she was overloaded with other work and she could not say no. Another friend she just said no for lab related activities, by which the relationship with her boss was hampered, but her time was saved for her work. You may say that you have work so unable to do the new things. But we should be polite enough to say so. Sometimes we are unable to say NO when you have many requests. If you know that a particular person is going to make request or assign any work, before the person requests you say you are very busy. Use the line “I’d love to, but”. This would send the message that this sounds like a great project to you, but you just can’t because of your schedule or other commitments. Sometimes people ask for requests many times reading your mind that if you  are requested so many times then you may say yes. So don’t worry about it and simple say you are really busy. They may say that if you are busy now then come after wards then you also gain say No with polite but firm voice. Sometimes we say sorry for saying no. Again we make a great mistake because here we send the person the message that saying no we made a big mistake. So never say you are sorry. Just love and respect your time. So use the mantra of NO and dare to speak NO.
Three mantras
Do not say YES every time.
Do not look for OTHERS impression on you always
Do not bother to listen PRAISE OR BLAMING to stay happy


About Leepsa...writer by chance but write by choice

My photo
Chandler, Arizona, India
N. M. Leepsa is a young writer, teacher researcher, painter. She was born in 1985 in Bhubaneswar, India’s eastern state of Odisha. Her parents Nabaghan Jena(Father ) and Madhabika Jena(Mother) raised her with utmost care to give her higher education and support her achieve whatever academic credentials. She did her schooling at the Children’s Centre of Integral Education, Bhubaneswar, Odisha. She attended Ramadevi Women’s College (B.Com), Utkal University (M.Com);Ravenshaw University (M.Phil) for her college studies. After this, she was inspired to pursue her PhD from Vinod Gupta School of Management, Indian Institute of Technology Kharagpur. Completing her studies, she joined as faculty of finance in LMT School of Management, Thapar University, Patiala, Punjab and then worked at School of Management, National Institute of Technology, Rourkela, Odisha. She is currently pursuing her professional courses at Grand Canyon University, USA. She can be reached at • Email: leepsa.writer@gmail.com, • Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Leepsa.writer • Blog: http://nmleepsa.blogspot.com/.

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