Thursday, December 2, 2010

She expressed… OMG

Aditi was a pretty young girl. She admitted in a reputed institute as the research scholar at an early age, while generally people enter at late age. She was new to the place, new to the learning environment. But managed to cope with it and focused to study well. But her childish mind was still her ornament. In her first semester, she had to do all the course work. She was busy with her course work. Mostly the assignments had to be submitted to the concerned subject instructor through mails. Since she had no laptop, she used to work in her department computer lab. Once she was working in the lab, a guy came and asked her whether he can use the computer that she was using. Although she was busy, she said yes, as the guy said other computers are not working, internet is not coming. So she agreed. The guy kept working. She was waiting when he will complete his work and she can again do, but the guy kept working and searching. She asked whether she can now use the computer, but the guy asked her to wait. She was worried as the lab will be closed at 5pm and she cannot submit her assignment. She repeated asked but the guy was continually searching something on Google. At last she said him to leave the computer, and finally the guy went away. Then every day she used to see him, and used to show her annoyed face. She thought her fellow research scholar was very stupid, even he is senior still do not know how to value to other’s time too. She was angry with him, as she could not submit her assignment that day and got scolding’s for that. Once she saw him one seminar, he was continuously asking question to the guy who was giving the seminar. She thought this guy creates problems for all. She thought if he would have remained silent then, the professors might have been happy with the presentation. Asking questions is good to clarify doubts, but to screw your fellow friends is bad, she thought. Sounds quite unprofessional …but she was angry with him so much that, she would find all faults in him. She saw him again in some food plaza with some professors, and thought how he was enjoying with his guide, and she came back. Her course work was almost completed, and her guide selection and DSC need to be formed. Finally one name was given. She went to that professor’s room. She saw that guy there. She thought why he was sitting in that room, and suddenly something stuck in his mind. Then she thought of his times of yore, and something reflected for a while when she gave some surprising eyes. The professor just completed his Ph.D and joined the institute. The professor was young and good-looking. Since he was very talented and brilliant in his academic area with lots of publications, he got placed at this reputed institute at the age of 28. So he was looking much more like a research scholar or a student than a teacher. It is because she had seen some MBAs and PhD students are much older so she never thought he can be a professor. He was asking question as he a faculty, not as a student. He was with other professor as colleagues not as student and teacher. She thought she never ever wished him whenever she used to see him.  She thought she made her own bed; now let her lie in it. With her big eyes and her cute face which turned pink, she expressed OMG. 

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Lessons from a Matchstick

We know that a match is a flammable object for lighting a fire in required situation. This match sticks even though very small but can teach big lessons. It rubs itself on the rough surface again and again until it burns to ignite the light. The first lesson is that if you want to get something from life, you have bet ready to rub yourself to difficult situations of life. You should be ready to face the hurdles of life. The second lesson is that just like the match stick burns itself to light candles and lamps, if you have something never hesitate to share with others if the person is in need of it. If you have small amount of knowledge share it to others who may come out with new knowledge for the benefit of all. When life of the match stick is for few seconds but by burning itself it lights other big objects which removes the darkness around you. Same way in every big sculpture there are small hands. The third lesson is to appreciate those hands. In every big Tata and Birla companies we value Jehangir Ratanji Dadabhoy Tata and Shiv Narain Birla. In every Taj Mahal and Konark we value Shah Jahan and King Narasimhadeva-I. But among these big shots there may be people like me and you, be thankful for their contribution. It means give importance to all people and never underestimate anyone. Respect people respect their good qualities. Every person has some unique qualities in them, find them. The last lesson is about the purpose you do a work. The match stick before it burns to die may be used to light a candle to remove darkness from life or set off guns and cannons to take life. Similarly think what you want to do for others before you die. Think if you want to bring happiness for others or be responsible for sufferings .So these are lessons I learnt which I felt to share with you. Learn from everyone and from everything because this life is too short to learn.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

The Words of Tears

I remember the dialogues of Kajol in "we are family" that sometimes in some relationships even if we love each other, we come in such circumstances that we cannot stay with the person we love. Never bind any relationship with anything. Just love and love. I agree with that. while i was thinking about it , i felt to write something that i felt similar to those lines of Kajol and share with you all.
  • Never hurt the person who you love in present for the person who hurt you in past.
  • Never link your past pain in present, it will be like a wound that you yourself not allowing to heal.
  • Forgetting is not that easy. If it would have been so, then I would have forgotten to breathe.
  • The love for you inside my heart sometimes comes in form of anger, but that anger is like the waves that comes and goes back deep inside the heart of the sea. It is just the part of the sea, like the love for you.
  • Sometimes we love someone very much. But we differ in expressing our love for each other, which brings pain. But never forget we love each other.
  • I have stopped expecting from the persons I love. But I cannot stop loving them. So when they say not to love it pains.
  • You may not like the way I express my love for you, but is not it a good feeling that someone is there who loves you.
  • Sometimes when the person you love never understands that how much you love and care about the person, it is better to remain silent than to explain by words.
  • I have heard that when we go away from our family, the rest of the world comes forward to make a new family with you. I made you my family, but you deny being the part of it. So tears falls like the river.
  • Gifts are gifts. Accept it. Someone may have brought it so much love and care. Never compare love by pricing it.
  • I understood what you wanted to say. But try to understand me too.  
  • Sometimes if a person loves you, there would be no harm if you change a little bit for the person. It may rather change life by bringing joy to the person who loves you. What to do with so called “principles”, if it brings tears to eyes of loved ones.
  • Gift and bribe may be twins. But even if they look same, they differ. One comes as she loves other, and another comes as she loves self.
  • Money destroys relationships. But strong relationships are never the slave of money. It is just the thinking that makes the difference.
  • Life had taught me many things, many experiences at age of 25 that would have got at age of 52. My white hairs are the witness of it.
  • Sometimes you love someone so much that, you cannot tolerate any ignorance from the person, you cannot tolerate any anger from the person, you cannot tolerate any silence from the person. 
  • Sometimes you do not get love in return from the person you love the most,  it does not mean that your love was worthless. It becomes more special because you loved someone without anything in return.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

The Thread of Faith

I had been to Khajrana Ganesh temple in Indore, Madhya Pradesh on 25th September 2010. The temple was built by Rani Ahalya Bhai Holkar. It is considered as an important pilgrimage center that attracts crowd from different parts of India. I went to temple with my friend and with his family. I found large numbers of devotees had gathered in the evening to offer their reverence and prayers. They were worshiping Lord Ganesh with different names of ganesh, matras, ganesh vandana, and also offering flowers, ladoo and coconut. The temple premise is an abode of so many other deities as well. The serene surroundings coupled with holiness, this majestic temple instilled inside me an unusual feeling of warmth. It gave peace to my soul and satisfaction to my heart. People believed that all the wishes will be fulfilled after praying in that temple. We made walked three times around the temple. Then Ashok Uncle (friend’s uncle) said me to tie a red thread inside the temple walls and make a wish. I did so by closing my eyes, with folded hands and bending my head before Lord Ganesha. He said that just to tie a knot is not enough. One should have Shradha (love and devotion) and Viswas (belief). One should have belief or faith in it. I agreed with him. It’s not only with temples and god. Anything we do with full of devotion, dedication and total faith on it, we fulfill the wish, and see the dream to reality. When we have faith, a positive energy stimulates inside us which makes us to move towards our goal. If goal will be a big word here, then I would say something that you ever wished for, a strong desire for something. With faith we imagine ourselves with reality that will happen in future. So we work for it until to get it fulfilled. It may be the wish for the peaceful world or for an individual desire topping in career, marrying your beloved, desiring to meet someone, wishing for someone to get well soon and many more. It had happened to me and must have also happened to you all at least once in life. Faith may not solve a problem, but gives enough courage, hope, confidence to face the problem. It brings positive thinking that enhances will power to face any difficult situation and get what we ever wished for. So, dear readers have faith on your faith because “Where hope grows, miracles blossom-Elna Rae”.

Friday, September 17, 2010

It rains again......

 While I was studying
Suddenly look from my window
The rainfall
Then i open the door
To feel the rain
To feel you
Through the winds
Through the heart
Every time it rains
Tears fall from my eyes
In the memories lane
Of the sunny days
Different from these dark cloud days
The thunder heard outside
Hiding the sounds of pain inside
The storms stopped on earth
But the storm will always remain inside me
Then I sat on bed
Thought again about you
I said to myself
I cannot forget you
Since I still love you
September 18, 2010
10.30 am

Saturday, September 4, 2010

A Small Token of Love to My Dear Teacher

The water, streams, lakes, oceans could not quench the thirst for your blessings
 Your blessings made the dreams as the days of happiness
Your blessings are the eliminator of my nights of sorrows
For you I am walking towards my life with some ambitions
You taught me to face the brightness of the scorching sun of life
You taught me to remain polite like cool moon under different shadows of life
You taught me to welcome the smiling spring and the chilled winter in same way
You are the one who taught me theories of books
You are the one who taught me the theories of life
Who else can love me so much as you have loved me?
Who else will miss me in every occasion of enjoyment and happiness?
Who else think of my well being every day?
Who else can read my heart by reading my face?
Who else can understand my sufferings and inner pain?
Who else can wipe out my tears by his healing words?
Who else get really happy with my awards and achievements?
Who else will listen my feeling and emotions with so patience?
The only you understood the real child inside me, the real wishes of me
If your blessings will be with me then even darkness will shed light in my life
If your smile be with me then even the scorching sunny days will give coolness of moon light
You are a wonderful person in this world
You are the best teacher in my life
Who knows when the Almighty will call me see His Great Judgment Day
Before that I want to say, be my teacher in my every birth to guide me a long way
The is in the honour of my teacher
Guru Brahma Guru Vishnu Guru Devo Maheswara
Guru Saksat Param Brahma Tat Me Shree Guru Ve Namah
                                                                                                         5th September 2010

Friday, September 3, 2010

Life…The Stock Market Game

 Life is really much unexpected just like the stock market. In stock market the price fluctuates and in life the events are very surprising. When price goes up, we hold the shares and when it falls we fall too. Same way we like to hold good experiences of life in our memories and we try to forget the bad memories giving shocking effects.  But the more we try to forget the more it comes to our eyes and we feel the same shock as we have already experienced. Just like a particular investment does not stop an investor in investing in securities, similarly we go on investing by forgetting the past and hope for the better outcomes in future. But here we have to remember, the mistakes we made in the past for which we had to incur loss or suffer a lot, we should not make the same mistakes again.
One Golden Rule of Accounting is “anticipate no profit and provide for all possible losses”. The man has to go by this rule and go on doing his duty in his both personal and professional life without any expectations. Sometimes we builds castle in the air and later we found the glass house we build has broken, it breaks our heart. We are foolish investors, we make mistakes knowing that the outcome of our investment is negative but still we do the same thing hoping that it will bring positive outcome. When we know that investing in love may not result in love in return, but still we take the risk for the return. When we say we love somebody, then it should be unconditional without any expectations. But life brings many bamboozled circumstances just like a chessboard where there will be many steps to go ahead, but later found that we are bounded by rule like the horse that can make step up to  two and half steps. Just like the poem the road not taken shows how it becomes difficult to make decision when we have two roads to chose or two alternatives to select. Just like in stock market getting into a dilemma while investing is a normal thing, same way making decisions of life is difficult phenomenon. It generally happens when investors are indecisive about two seemingly similar situations or investment avenues. If the dilemmas are not tackled early on, it could lead to a flawed investment decision, which can bring catastrophic effects on our funds. These dilemmas are usually a result of the lack of knowledge among investors about various investment options. This leads to confusion about which investment option is most suitable in a given situation. In a bid to simplify things, investors look for answers that may have worked for their friend or colleague in the past. Similarly any situations in our real life need correct and timely decision, specifically relating to our life partner. We feel sometimes let the happiness of our beloved be the sole objective and sometimes we feel let the person whom we love so much, may give us the same love in return. Just like in stock market the situation varies across investors, there is no clear-cut answer or standard solution that will hold good for all investors, same way there is no answer to love one or dream to be loved. The only problem is that we cannot stop dreaming.
Stock market is risky. Many people do not enter this risk and return business. But can this happen in any relationship? We never think of any risk and return business when we love somebody. We just go on giving our love to the fullest extent; we just love to invest more and more of love and affection for our dear love. From the childhood days we learned that what we sow so shall we reap. But sometimes when we sow love, why don’t we reap love. We cry, we shed tears but will it heal the pain of separation. Will the time take back the moments of such pain of separation, such moments of pain from our life? Will the time stop us from shedding tears when we think of the past days? Can the time fulfill the dreams we dreamt of. The expected happiness when turns to sorrow, it is really horrible, heart throbbing. Each and every night we spend with such dreams, each and every moment we thought of the future just like the investors think what will happen next. Can these times which spend in dreaming come back? Can these dreams broken be again rearranged? Can time take us back to change all the past circumstances to make it to pleasurable moments?  Is there any magic wand to change all the problems or such situation of helplessness of life? Can we change our past decisions in the present for our future? Why such situations come in life where there will be only two alternative and both the alternatives are difficult to accept. Why such situations comes when if you change it will give you sorrow and if you don’t change it will give you sorrow? Why you become the victim of time? Why life becomes the net of the spider where the net is connected to make you prey? Such questions come when we act as investors in our real life. Never expect, never dream, and never hope for the best. Just prepare yourself strong for the worst situations of life. Sometimes it becomes difficult to define what is ‘good’ or’ bad’ and what is a ‘right and wrong decisions’. Sometimes a problem becomes a solution and a solution becomes the problem in life. Just like trading in stock market requires analytical knowledge, vision, discipline and patience to succeed, same way to handle such situations in life it requires the same patience. Instead of going for technical analysis (of stock, here life), lets follow fundamental analysis of stock, here life), assuming that in long run all will alright. So it is better to let the life go on and wait and watch.
 September 4, 2010

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Name for sake of name

What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
-William Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

You can still smell a rose and appreciate its beauty even if you called a particular rose. It’s not the name that makes the man. It's what type of person he is that determines who he is. A name is simply a name and nothing more. Kind of like a flower is only a flower and if its name was beast, it wouldn't change how is smelled. A name is an artificial and meaningless convention.
Lord Krishna, one of the most respected Gods of Hindu religions is known by many names. I remembered the words of Aristotle “God has many names, though He is only one Being”. When I was in early days, I remember one episode of soap Lord Krishna; Lord Krishna saying to someone (not remembered whom) “I have different names. Some call me Krishna, Govinda, Giridhari, Gopala, Gopinatha, Radha Vallabha and many more. It does not matter in what name one is called for, what matters is the work one do. Name may change but I will be the same person. People will remember you for the good deeds rather than the name.  Even people named me makan chor. I am not at all negatively affected by it. I consider it is the love of people they call me in different names”.
Name is given to distinguish one person from another. Name is something very powerful to influence one’s life. The name is selected such that its meaning can inspire the child to follow the path of righteousness.  The first thing that you learn about a person is his name. It's also something that you usually remember.
My name is N.M.leepsa. The meaning of the name Leepsa is ‘Wish’.  Leepsa comes from the word which means "Love."  People with this name tend to be filled with the joy of life. They are quite imaginative and enthusiastic. People can me in different names. My nick name is puppy. My horoscope names are Sradhanjali, Sakuntala, Sailabala.  My friends and relatives call me Twinkle, Pinky, Fiza, Lipu, Lipi, Misti, Jema, Sweety, Puchki. My professor calls me mummy. Though I am called in different names, I am recognized with my good name N.M.Leepsa.
From the birth certificate to my educational qualification certificate I am identified with this name. The school attendance sheets to my PhD enrolment these nine alphabet name is found. Twenty five years I have stayed with this name. I am habituated by it and can emotionally attach by it. So many incidents of my life are tied with it. My name had caught the eye of many persons who once listens it. All use to pull my leg taking my name. And the more important thing even I get tired of making them understand meaning of N.M.  I loved my name and I loved such leg pulling. My friends used give the acronym for NM like NM for NM Tutorial in Bhubaneswar, Nelson Mandela ex President of South Africa, NM-Not Married, NM-Nimbu Mirchi , NM-Nancy Miller.  Friends are always meant for this leg pulling to make life spicy and sweet.
I am possessive about the persons I love, the things I love and all things closer to me. Same way, I was so possessive about my name.  I remember I used to get red when they wrongly identify my name. The below is the best incident how I get angry when one friend never call me in my name.
Friend4: hi beauty
Me: my name is N.M. Leepsa. You can call me in tat name
Friend4: I know it
Me: tumhe agar koi pagal bole acha lagega?
Friend4: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. i dont mind
Me: muhje naam pasand hai so call me in that name. Mom dad ne kitne pyar se diye hain
Friend4: hmmmm
Friend4: me bhi to pyaar se hi bol raha hu. Hmm
Me: oh ho x-(
When in college the professor used to call my name he had to twice call that name and ask the meaning on the first day of college. In +2, we had a option to select Oriya or Alternative English as a subject, the staff without asking wrote Alternative English during my admission in college and later when I asked why he wrote without asking me, he said that I must be a non Oriya as the name indicates so. Of course I had taken Alternative English but not because I was a south Indian but because I was a English medium student from childhood. Some use to say in funny way why don’t I add the address in the name itself. When gone for trip to Hyderabad some teased saying to marry a Hyderabadi and your name will be more expanded and your children will have the same tradition. I remember another conversation with my name as below:
Friend1: I am from Nagpur settled in Coimbatore and now in Chennai. Basically I am a Maharashtrian. What about u? Are you from Orissa?
Me: yes.  Does my face resemble?  How can u guess?
Friend1: No I can’t guess with face but with your name.
Milan Kundera had said “We don't know when our name came into being or how some distant ancestor acquired it. We don't understand our name at all, we don't know its history and yet we bear it with exalted fidelity, we merge with it, we like it, we are ridiculously proud of it as if we had thought it up ourselves in a moment of brilliant inspiration”. Same way, I always used to feel proud of my name though some friends say in Bengali language its meaning is used in negative sense.
Me to Friend2: no need of thanks dear, its only because of u I felt to know the meaning of your name. Just going through my name meaning and found yours...NM hahaha.. Leepsa is better na?
I use to give the explanation of my name just check the below lines:
Friend3: oh what i think like your name NM tutorial
Me: No actually it begins with my father and mother’s name
Now why I gave these above incidents let me say. The story began like this... From so many days I was thinking to apply for passport. But due to my laziness and requirement for various documents for verification, I drag my feet to apply for it.   Then on 31st July 2010 I thought I would apply it online through an agent. I filled an initial form and gave the form to the agent. Then the agent said to write my full name. I said that it was my full name. There is no extended name for N.M. and from childhood my name is like that only. The agent said that how come it can be, it must be having some extended name. I said it stands with the name of my parents but I never wrote that way anywhere. Then he said you can write that parents name in the place of surname space in the form. I tried to convince him that it was not my surname and my surname is added to my name. The Indian government rules broke my heart when I heard that my name needs to be changed to issue passport for me. I felt kind of down in the dumps throughout the day thinking that I have to change my name. I felt as if I will lose my own identity. I felt to drop them a line to the rule makers that why such names cannot be accepted. They do not understand that I have been known with name for ages.
I came back and I said to my friend, my parents, my teacher that "I'm feeling blue because I love my name and cannot stay with a new name." but their reactions were different. Some laughed; some teased some suggest new names. No one was as serious as me. I said “I am OK, but not good. It was a low blow for me to be called by different name." Then my sister said "Calm down. There's really nothing to worry about. You're making a mountain out of a molehill." I reacted by it so?  Even a little thing happens crazy people like me put it in Google status. Then I wrote on Google chat status - My love will be lost soon. jiske sath 25 years har pal raha, ushke bina kese rahun :(
Then came some responses which somehow making me feel little to accept the truth.
Friend6 - paheliya na bujha......kya hua bol............?
Me - as my passport documentation does not accept my sweet name ...N.M.LEEPSA .so i have to change my name :( :(
Friend6 - You've got to be kidding!  You can't be serious! This is the most horrible thing that can happen to any one...but how is it that passport office is not accepting it?
Me - initials not allowed in passport... N.M. so very upset.
Friend6- so what is your new name?
N.M. LEEPSA - not yet done dear...court pe affidavit,then local newspaper men publish and so many things like this :(
I had conversation with another friend below:
Friend5: kiya tumhe naam change karna padrega!!!!!!!!!
Me: HMM   :(
Friend5: ki baje bapar. ta ki naam thik korle?? nijer jonno
Me: khub hi baje bepar.  mann bhalo lagche na  :(
Friend5: aare ki r kora jabe...  vabo to nijer naam nije choose korar luck ko2 jon er hoy..
Me: amar guide tai bolo   :(
Friend5: from thar point of view u r among the few lucky people
Me: hahaha. namm thik karo  :( .  I love my name
Friend5: tumi ki rokon vebecho suni?
Me:   na  baba ke bole delo. khud ka baby name search karne ke baje khud ka naam. :( anek jhamela ache. bank e, iit main bulding sab jage change karte hobe
Friend5: ota to tamon prob na...akbar court e giye affidavit kore nilei hobe.
Me: :(. biye pore abar surname change karte hobe :(
Friend5: se tumi na chaile change koro na
Me: akuni biye korle kaz ta hoye jabe
When it came to my name I thought Hubert H. Humphrey who said “In real life, unlike in Shakespeare, the sweetness of the rose depends upon the name it bears. Things are not only what they are. They are, in very important respects, what they seem to be” if would have been here with me would have supported me.  Then I thought, although a different name for me is far- fetched, I have to change my mind and get a new name for myself. Although I will change my name people will call me Leepsa until hell freezes over.
Few days went like this with fighting’s with my two persons my heart and my mind. One making me weak for the love for my name and another saying to be very practical as there is the need the passport. The tussle was over when the good news came that there will be no need to change the name just in the form has the full name. However I accepted that, “A man has three names: the name he inherits, the name his parents give him, and the name he makes for himself”. After all we all have to make that name for our self through our deeds. Again it is nicely said by Vachel Lindsay that “To live in mankind is far more than to live in a name”

4th August 2010
2.21 am

About Leepsa...writer by chance but write by choice

My photo
Chandler, Arizona, India
N. M. Leepsa is a young writer, teacher researcher, painter. She was born in 1985 in Bhubaneswar, India’s eastern state of Odisha. Her parents Nabaghan Jena(Father ) and Madhabika Jena(Mother) raised her with utmost care to give her higher education and support her achieve whatever academic credentials. She did her schooling at the Children’s Centre of Integral Education, Bhubaneswar, Odisha. She attended Ramadevi Women’s College (B.Com), Utkal University (M.Com);Ravenshaw University (M.Phil) for her college studies. After this, she was inspired to pursue her PhD from Vinod Gupta School of Management, Indian Institute of Technology Kharagpur. Completing her studies, she joined as faculty of finance in LMT School of Management, Thapar University, Patiala, Punjab and then worked at School of Management, National Institute of Technology, Rourkela, Odisha. She is currently pursuing her professional courses at Grand Canyon University, USA. She can be reached at • Email:, • Facebook Page: • Blog:

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